I’m no expert in love. Just an observer.
I see many examples of couples love dying off after awhile. 6 months. 1 year. 5 years. 20 years. Or even later.
The passion dies off. The dream vanishes. The fantasy feeling when two lovers just met. No more hands holding. No more kissing. No more cuddling.
They started to come home late, tired after a long day. During weekends, the husband may spend his afternoon on the newspaper and the wife on the housework. They may go bring their kids out but that’s the only thing that they do together. While at night, both may be more interested in their own phones than one another. Sounds familiar?
Can we keep the flame burning? We don’t want it to just burn, we want our flame to be burning brightly. The good thing is that it is possible. The question is are we willing to work towards it?
Do we need to be rich to be able to do so? If that’s the case, there won’t be any separations among Hollywood couples. In fact, if you are looking for a long-lasting love, Hollywood may be the last place you’ll want to turn to. So no, you don’t have to be rich.
Most of us have very wrong priorities. So wrong that if our kids would be following our examples, we’ll be spanking them hard. We need to really understand what is important to us. Is our partner important? Then how much time and effort are you investing onto them? 5 minutes a day? That really shows a lot.
When we have been in a relationship for a long time, it is normal to feel mundane. But it is up to us to change it or accept it. Don’t expect or wait for our partner to do something. We are 50% shareholder to our marriage. Put aside our ego.
Do we still date like we used to? No need for a Paris trip every quarter. But do we still go out for a dinner and a movie? Do we still surprise our partner with small gestures, and yes, gifts? Do we still give a massage to our partners when they come home from work? Do we kiss them before we leave for work?
If work is too much, it is not the work’s fault. Is our expectation too high? Are we not capable enough to hold so much responsibilities? Is it time to change a job? Sacrificing our family for work, just because we work for our family’s expenses, is not a good reason, sorry. The only correct way is to achieve a balance between keeping your family happy and your work productive. Nobody said it was easy.
So, go home tonight. Buy a rose. Dim the lights. Do the dishes. Prepare some ylang ylang essential oil. And reignite your flame again.