My 3 Phases of Recovery

First Phase – Mourning 

We all need a mourning period. To get over the hard times that just occurred. To calm the heart down. To allow some time to let the pain heal. The duration of this period depends on the severity of the incident. So depends on what you have faced or lost, determine your own duration.

During the mourning period. We can watch a sad show, listen to a sad song, flip through the memory box. During this period, we are allowed to let ourselves go.

Second Phase – Recovery 

At certain point of time, we must allow ourselves to move on. Here, we build ourselves up again. Learning to let go. The key is to be willing to try. Memories will come back to put us through those emotional state again and again. Even for months and years. But we should not give up. Fill our lives with positiveness. Songs, content, movies, people, activities, hobbies. Block out any negative things that try to affect our road to recovery.

Third Phase – Moved On

At the third phase, we should already have gotten over (or mostly) the lost or the pain. We should be willing to accept new opportunities. Try new experiences.

There are many people who do not know how to recover. From a heartbreak. From losing a important person. From failing an exam. From not living up to expectations of others. I’ve been through all of them. And many times, I felt like I was at the brink of depression. When I was down, I was like “don’t tell me what is recovery because you don’t know how much that person means to me.” or “how broke I am”. or “how I am going to let my mum down because I scored a C, just a C.”

I ask myself questions. If I never learn to accept failures or manage loss, for the rest of my life, I will be living in fear. Fear of failing and losing. Fear of going through those depressive states. And people who have been through them will know that they will do anything to get out of that state.

I am not a psychiatrist. But I just hope that if my little sharing can touch someone, I have succeeded. Even if I don’t, I will not give up.

No matter how down you are, don’t give up. Just hold on to this tiny, but powerful, belief. That everything will be fine. One day, you will look back, and smile, and think to yourself how small that failure was.

=)

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Focus On Ourselves

Why are we always so fascinated by how others live?

Who’s sleeping with who? Who’s she dating? How much that actor makes. Why are the perfect holywood couple divorcing? How cute the royal couple’s newborn baby is. Why is that footballer changing team? He got sacked again. He is upset. She is depressed. That arab prince has 200 cars. New houses.

He should do this. She should do that. He shouldn’t buy this. She shouldn’t buy that.

Is it because we are not doing anything useful with our own lives that’s why we have to spend our precious time caring about how others are living theirs?

Stop wasting your time and energy on how people live. Most of the time, how others live has zero bearing on us. Refocus back on how to improve your own life.

You’ll be surprise how much change will happen (mostly positive) when you start focusing back on yourself.

Respect Everyone (and Everything)

If you are sincerely nice to everyone, if you treat everyone with respect, love and care, how many enemies will you really have?

What does that mean?

You will get to reap all the love in the world. If you can even extend the respect, love and care to animals, plants and even things. You are going to be a very, very blessed person.

Victim of Society

Chaos is money. The more chaotic your life is, the more money you will spend and the more money big corporations will earn.

Stress, illnesses, disabilities, war, divorce, debts, accidents, viruses, etc.

We cannot 100% avoid all of the bad stuff, but we can reduce the probability of them occurring to us.

We must be aware and take the necessary steps. Learn from experienced and wise people, reducing our desires, understanding minimalism, zen, contentment and gratitude.

Manage our time well. Avoid rushing. Take care of our mind and body. Have adequate sleep. Eat right. See right. Think right. Be grateful and appreciate people. Be sincere to our friends.

There are many other ways to ensure that we do not fall into the trap. Be smart. Stop feeding yourself to others.

Why is It So Difficult to Wake Up 5 Minutes Earlier?

Have you ever wondered why it is such an impossible task to wake up, or sleep, just five minutes earlier?

Or why is it so difficult to save an additional $20 every month?

Or why do we keep finding ourselves slightly over-spending every month?

That’s because it is never about that 5 minutes or that $20.

It is all about habits. And breaking habits don’t have to be a chore. Neither is it difficult. It is all about taking the right measures, which can be simple and fun.