I am choosy. I don’t have many friends. So those that I consider a friend, I want you to know how cherished you are.
During courtship, men will do his best. After courtship, men will stop trying.
Many men fail to realize that keeping a relationship healthy is more difficult than courtship. Putting in the constant effort to communicate. Dedicating time and care. Surprises. Sweet words. These should not be decreased. In fact, we need to give even more when we are in a relationship with our partners.
Of cos, reducing the flowers and chocolates may be a necessity due to budget constraints but small gifts should be given once in a while. Even Buddha mentioned that husbands should pamper their wives with jewelleries (Yes, I did read that!)
So if you have been guilty of neglecting your girlfriend/wife after she said “yes”, take this post as a reminder that it is time to do something about it.
Oh, and by the way girls, if you are nodding in agreement, this post applies to you too =)
Another way to keep in touch is to sit down on a table, have dinner together, coffee, and talk.
I’m no expert in love. Just an observer.
I see many examples of couples love dying off after awhile. 6 months. 1 year. 5 years. 20 years. Or even later.
The passion dies off. The dream vanishes. The fantasy feeling when two lovers just met. No more hands holding. No more kissing. No more cuddling.
They started to come home late, tired after a long day. During weekends, the husband may spend his afternoon on the newspaper and the wife on the housework. They may go bring their kids out but that’s the only thing that they do together. While at night, both may be more interested in their own phones than one another. Sounds familiar?
Can we keep the flame burning? We don’t want it to just burn, we want our flame to be burning brightly. The good thing is that it is possible. The question is are we willing to work towards it?
Do we need to be rich to be able to do so? If that’s the case, there won’t be any separations among Hollywood couples. In fact, if you are looking for a long-lasting love, Hollywood may be the last place you’ll want to turn to. So no, you don’t have to be rich.
Most of us have very wrong priorities. So wrong that if our kids would be following our examples, we’ll be spanking them hard. We need to really understand what is important to us. Is our partner important? Then how much time and effort are you investing onto them? 5 minutes a day? That really shows a lot.
When we have been in a relationship for a long time, it is normal to feel mundane. But it is up to us to change it or accept it. Don’t expect or wait for our partner to do something. We are 50% shareholder to our marriage. Put aside our ego.
Do we still date like we used to? No need for a Paris trip every quarter. But do we still go out for a dinner and a movie? Do we still surprise our partner with small gestures, and yes, gifts? Do we still give a massage to our partners when they come home from work? Do we kiss them before we leave for work?
If work is too much, it is not the work’s fault. Is our expectation too high? Are we not capable enough to hold so much responsibilities? Is it time to change a job? Sacrificing our family for work, just because we work for our family’s expenses, is not a good reason, sorry. The only correct way is to achieve a balance between keeping your family happy and your work productive. Nobody said it was easy.
So, go home tonight. Buy a rose. Dim the lights. Do the dishes. Prepare some ylang ylang essential oil. And reignite your flame again.
I came across this news where a man died from working 16 hours shift, 7 days a week, because he wanted to give his family a better life. However, his wife could not accept that he was not around all the time and after quarreling, she left him to sleep in the sofa that night, and he died there.
My heart broke when I read this news. I always remind myself not to squeeze myself, or the people around me, till the brink of breaking point. And this unfortunate story 100% reflects why I am so supportive of all these simple living principles. If I can’t go to Disneyland every year, I’ll just go every 2 years. Do not force yourself to the point of breakdown, it is not worth it.
Needless to say, I do not feel that the wife is in the wrong. I believe that many couples unknowingly place a lot of stress on one another due to their own expectations and desires. And this is how the society is today.
Always look out for signs of stress and depression in one another. And on ourselves. Once spotted, take necessary measures to address the situation.
I hope that this family pull through this ordeal and we all can finally learn to appreciate life and appreciate everyone around us.
I’m back from my wedding weekend. Still feeling a little ‘wedding hangover’.
From where I come from, we usually need to do 2 ceremonies. It can be done together but most people chooses to do it separately due to difference in preference, financial reasons or other circumstances.
For me, this is my second ceremony. I will need to do a 3rd one at my wife’s hometown. The first one was done last year. Usually, the first ceremony is a small scale ceremony where a solemnizer declare a couple husband and wife. The second one will be a ceremony where the couple invites their friends and loved ones to witness the union. Usually a ballroom is preferred and it comes with a huge cost.
My wedding experience felt nothing short of amazing. We appreciated all our guests coming to offer their blessings. It is a truly memorable day.
We are extremely satisfied that we are able to hold our wedding without going into debt as we have heard of many post-wedding horror stories.
I thank all of you for your well-wishes. I feel extremely blessed.
Let me share a few exclusive photos of my big day 😊
PS. How did I get married without going broke? Save up first, buy “budget”, don’t buy, resist, do your budget and finances, buy only when you can afford. Run away when the temptation is strong, kick YOLO in the ass. Remember it’s always about the marriage, not the wedding.
Today I’m going to teach you a secret. How to let your boyfriend shower you with love.
You really want to know?
The secret is, shower him with love first.