Why You Should Feel Happy For Others

I must admit that I used to envy others. Envy people who are more popular, more successful, wealthier, fitter, etc. Sometimes, I even wished that they fail a little.

Please don’t villianize me straightaway. I’m sure I’m not the only one to feel this way. Although I’m very certain that I’m one of the first to admit my flaws.

Feeling upset at others’ success is a natural result of our competitive upbringing. Whenever our teachers praises our classmate for topping the class. Whenever our parents emphasized how lousy we are for not being as good as our siblings. We all grow up learning to compare.

But it doesn’t matter if I’m the bad guy or good guy. That’s not the topic today.

Nowadays, I genuine feel happy for people who achieved success in their life.

The first time I learned that feeling sour at others’ success is an incorrect mindset from a Buddhist book that I read. The master author wrote that there is no need to feel jealous. We should be happy for others who achieved success because their success is based on their own good merits. Then, it didn’t change my mindset but it did ignite a spark.

Gradually, my mind starts to change. I felt a strong belief that we should surround ourselves with people that we want to be. If we want to be rich, surround ourselves with rich people. If we want to be compassionate, surround ourselves with compassionate people. This is a very simple theory. Do you think you will be happy, if you surround yourself with sad and depressed souls all the time? How can happiness be based on hopes of others of failing? That is pure suffering. Because if others don’t fail, you won’t be happy. The fact is that when those who went through failures start to learn how to pick themselves up again, they will try, and succeed, and then you will be left in your own misery.

Now, in terms of career, money and happiness, I am more successful than ever. I’ve a loving family and a bright future. I don’t belong to the “no-time” tribe and I am blessed with a, at least for now, healthy mind and body.

Start surrounding yourself with happy, positive, successful people today.

If you want to taste sweetness, stop being sour. Next time, don’t just feel happy for your friends, celebrate their success with them.

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My 1 Goal

Everyday, I write about my experiences, my knowledge and share stories I learned.

Everyday, my mind is full of ideas. When I look at the 400 plus topics waiting for me to write. When I look at the ever growing list of posts on the right side of my blog page. I can’t help but feel a sense of pride.

But more than pride, I feel a sense of achievement. And more than feeling a sense of achievement, I feel excitement. Excitment for the things I’ve learned and also the infinite things waiting for me to learn.

I can imagine writing a blog so rich in content, thousands of inspiring posts, inspiring many people who felt and were attracted to my vibrations. Similarly, I’ve been attracted to so many inspirational writers and speakers vibrations.

We have no time in this world for shallow conversations. Gossips. Negativity. Life is too short for that. 1 minute spent on gossips is 1 unrecoverable minute lost.

I want to grow because when we stop growing, we die. Not just grow physically, but spiritually and mentally. I’m not ready to die. I want to continue to write a little more.

If my words can inspire just one person to not go into depression. To not getting into bankruptcy. If I can inspire just one person to live happy, I have achieved everything.

An Apology

I apologize because in one of my previous post, I criticized sportsmen. I did not feel 100% good especially after mentioning individuals who have made mistakes.

Mistakes should be forgiven. These sportsmen have committed mistakes and have paid their price. I should not have brought up their names individually. Even though they are popular people, we should embrace a more compassionate world.

I do not encourage bashing and I will explore better ways to express my views in future.

Why Quit Smoking Advertisements Fail

First and foremost, smokers are afraid of heart attack and blood clots. But more is definitely needed to be done as by continuously showing that, it is like telling coke drinkers that coke may stain your teeth. Or potato chips may give you can cancer.

We must understand why smokers continue to smoke despite the constant warnings. Maybe it is time to accept that smoking actually feels good, helps one to relax in stressful situations, and it is a good socialising activity. And not treating smokers as outcasts.

I know many smokers want to quit, but find it difficult to do so. Being understanding and showing care may not necessarily works. But it beats shoving the adverse effects of smoking down our throat, all the time.

One of the best ways that can help a smoker to successfully quit smoking is to alter the influences around them. Friends and daily activities. If smokers hang out with a group of smokers, they will tend to smoke. But if they hang out with a group of non-smokers, the chance of them smoking will be reduced.

Stress management is also extremely vital. If smokers have heavy family responsibilities and work stress, they might need to consider altering their family and work situations.

But to have advertisements to ask smokers to stay away from their smoking friends. Or for them to change their job. It could be a little too unconventional.

Examples like how smoking causes lung cancer and how second hand smoking affect your kids, these are more conventional, safer ways to advertise a quit smoking campaign. After so long, people are already sick of them.

And that’s probably why the smoking population never really treated these advertisements and campaigns seriously.

The Power of Travelling Together

I can remember vividly as my wife and I walked along Da Dong Hai Bay, Sanya. Our feet sank into the soft sands with every step we took. While strolling, we talked about life and happiness. We also talked about our future and appreciated how blessed we were.

On other days, we will be at our own office slogging away. Only to spend the last 3 or 4 hours together at home.

That’s the best thing about travelling together. We are “forced” to spend time together. Being in a faraway place. Just the two of us. Planning our itinerary together. Making decisions together.

Sometimes we have our differences. Differences on what to eat, where to go, and how much is our budget. 

But at the end of the day, we not only learn how to resolve our differences, we also get to enjoy one another’s company.

The Anatomy of Lying

When we lie, we lose a part of our true self. The more we lie, the more we lose. A person who lies all the time will probably have lost a big part of himself.

What does it mean by losing himself? It simply means that the person will accumulate sufferings in the long run. Which means that he will not just be not happy, he will live with a lot of sufferings.

It does not matter if the lie will bring you a lot of money or friends. Eventually, the fire will burn through the paper that tries to cover it.

But there is a kind of lie that is acceptable. There’s a popular tale of a group of hunters asking a passer-by if he has seen a rabbit running pass him. The passer-by pointed the other way. This saved the life of the rabbit. When a lie is intended to save a life or prevent disaster, it is acceptable, to an extent. But must be exercised with a lot cautious.

And one must be truthful to himself when qualifying the lie as a necessity. If not, he will just be deceiving himself, making himself the biggest fool.

The Dark Side of Top Sports Stars

Tiger Woods is recently back in the news lately. Fortunately, this time round, its not related to his well-known sex addictions. It brings me to a topic of why so many top sports stars just can’t seem to behave themselves.

Lance Armstrong, the best cyclist in history, cheated with performance enhancement drugs. Diego Maradona, the best footballer ever, not named Pele, have a long history with cocaine. Paul Gascoigne, widely known as the most talented English footballer ever, and George Best, the best Northern Irish footballer ever, had their health and career let down by alcoholism.

The list goes on. Kobe Bryant, Michael Jordan’s heir, and his affairs during his younger days. Derrick Rose, an NBA MVP, and his recent disgraceful orgy scandal. Ryan Giggs, the most decorated English Premier League footballer, was caught with his pants down, with his sister-in-law. And there’s Chelsea FC and England Football National Team captain John Terry, who you better keep your wife away from. And who can forget O.J. Simpson.

Why are the top athletes behaving like that? When we think of them as the cream of the crop, the best of the best, god among men, we think of the years of training and discipline to achieve what they’ve achieved. The hardwork. The focus they have. The level of commitment they put in we mere mortals can never imagine.

Even in the professional wrestling scene, we have the most popular of them all, Hulk Hogan who cheated on his wife. And Mr. Wrestlemania, Shawn Michaels, who admitted to all his past demons.

All the dedication they’ve put in, yet they do not have the resillience to stay away from those temptations. In the end, succumbing to drugs, women, and alcohol. Losing their reputation, their family, their career, and some even their life.

Maybe we are too blinded by these sportsmen, who the media loves to label as superstars. 

Maybe underneath those jerseys, they are really just flesh and blood like us.