ever felt like you are living in a constant state of subconciousness?
i often wondered why did i do certain things. like why did i hang out with that bad influence. why did i get myself into certain messes in the past. why did i spend so much money on that meaningless purchase.
at the moment where you bought that meaningless purchase, you felt fully convinced that you needed it. but after some time have passed, you wish you did not fritter those precious hardearned money away. sometimes, it may take a few seconds to regret our actions. and sometimes, it may take many years before we wake up.
not long after, we find ourselves, again, trap in another worthless purchase. and it keeps repeating like a vicious cycle.
i tell people i am 32 years old. but to me, i am only 2. my life started only 2 years ago. it was only 2 years ago i woke from the 30 years of slumber. determined to take back control of my life. convicted to live my life with intent. my intent.
when we become more conscious, we start to see the meaning of life. we start to enjoy life. we attain clarity. we become happy.
even saying that, i know that i am in no state of full conciousness. not even a high level of it. i am only at a level higher than the one when i am 30 years old.
what about you?