Subconcious

ever felt like you are living in a constant state of subconciousness?

i often wondered why did i do certain things. like why did i hang out with that bad influence. why did i get myself into certain messes in the past. why did i spend so much money on that meaningless purchase.

at the moment where you bought that meaningless purchase, you felt fully convinced that you needed it. but after some time have passed, you wish you did not fritter those precious hardearned money away. sometimes, it may take a few seconds to regret our actions. and sometimes, it may take many years before we wake up.

not long after, we find ourselves, again, trap in another worthless purchase. and it keeps repeating like a vicious cycle.

i tell people i am 32 years old. but to me, i am only 2. my life started only 2 years ago. it was only 2 years ago i woke from the 30 years of slumber. determined to take back control of my life. convicted to live my life with intent. my intent.

when we become more conscious, we start to see the meaning of life. we start to enjoy life. we attain clarity. we become happy.

even saying that, i know that i am in no state of full conciousness. not even a high level of it. i am only at a level higher than the one when i am 30 years old.

what about you?

Advertisements

Inevitability

Inevitable is, well, inevitable. or is it?

for example, when we lose our wallet, it is inevitable that we feel upset.

however, there are different degrees of upset we may feel.

for someone who only has a wallet, he may feel extreme loss. guilt. regret. blame. heartbroken. frustration. he may live the next few days in his depressive shell and spend the next few nights sleepless. that’s inevitable.

for another person who has a hundred wallets, to lose his wallet, he could get over it in a few minutes, or even, not feel upset or loss at all and move on with his life.

these are just two examples and in between these two examples, there’s an infinite degree of how one feels when they lose their belongings.

this example simply shows us that inevitability may not be conclusively inevitable. both scenerios shows two individual losing their wallets. but they have varying feelings.

not only someone who is rich can let go of painful feelings when faced with loss. there are people who spend their effort in training themselves mentally, who can achieve similar results as compared to someone who have never train their mind to learn to let go of losses.

someone who’s achieved a high level of contentment may also not feel that much pain.

the less we succumb to inevitability, the more control we regain. the happier we feel.

Change Ourselves

If we can’t even change ourselves, what rights do we have to ask others to change?

If we can’t even change ourselves, how can we expect others to change?

If it’s so hard to change ourselves, what makes us think that it is easy for others to change?

If it is so hard to change others, why not just change ourselves?

My 3 Phases of Recovery

First Phase – Mourning 

We all need a mourning period. To get over the hard times that just occurred. To calm the heart down. To allow some time to let the pain heal. The duration of this period depends on the severity of the incident. So depends on what you have faced or lost, determine your own duration.

During the mourning period. We can watch a sad show, listen to a sad song, flip through the memory box. During this period, we are allowed to let ourselves go.

Second Phase – Recovery 

At certain point of time, we must allow ourselves to move on. Here, we build ourselves up again. Learning to let go. The key is to be willing to try. Memories will come back to put us through those emotional state again and again. Even for months and years. But we should not give up. Fill our lives with positiveness. Songs, content, movies, people, activities, hobbies. Block out any negative things that try to affect our road to recovery.

Third Phase – Moved On

At the third phase, we should already have gotten over (or mostly) the lost or the pain. We should be willing to accept new opportunities. Try new experiences.

There are many people who do not know how to recover. From a heartbreak. From losing a important person. From failing an exam. From not living up to expectations of others. I’ve been through all of them. And many times, I felt like I was at the brink of depression. When I was down, I was like “don’t tell me what is recovery because you don’t know how much that person means to me.” or “how broke I am”. or “how I am going to let my mum down because I scored a C, just a C.”

I ask myself questions. If I never learn to accept failures or manage loss, for the rest of my life, I will be living in fear. Fear of failing and losing. Fear of going through those depressive states. And people who have been through them will know that they will do anything to get out of that state.

I am not a psychiatrist. But I just hope that if my little sharing can touch someone, I have succeeded. Even if I don’t, I will not give up.

No matter how down you are, don’t give up. Just hold on to this tiny, but powerful, belief. That everything will be fine. One day, you will look back, and smile, and think to yourself how small that failure was.

=)

Feedback

When I started this blog, I have a few objectives.

One of them is to share my experiences and stories, hoping to bring a little more smiles, to people who happen to chance upon my blog.

The things that I have shared brought me a lot of clarity in my life which led me to happiness.

I used to be bogged down with so much desires, responsibilities and stress that got me really depressed. And I hope nobody needs to go through that.

I see the need to address this as I never expected to have people talking to me over what I write. Sharing with me their stories and the opinion. In the beginning, it is just me writing and thinking that if anyone sees it, then let’s see what’s next.

I am humbled.

Please continue to share with me your views. Your stories. Suggestions. Comments. Your interests. Your success. Your happiness. Everything.

Why is It So Difficult to Wake Up 5 Minutes Earlier?

Have you ever wondered why it is such an impossible task to wake up, or sleep, just five minutes earlier?

Or why is it so difficult to save an additional $20 every month?

Or why do we keep finding ourselves slightly over-spending every month?

That’s because it is never about that 5 minutes or that $20.

It is all about habits. And breaking habits don’t have to be a chore. Neither is it difficult. It is all about taking the right measures, which can be simple and fun.