Change Ourselves

If we can’t even change ourselves, what rights do we have to ask others to change?

If we can’t even change ourselves, how can we expect others to change?

If it’s so hard to change ourselves, what makes us think that it is easy for others to change?

If it is so hard to change others, why not just change ourselves?

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My 3 Phases of Recovery

First Phase – Mourning 

We all need a mourning period. To get over the hard times that just occurred. To calm the heart down. To allow some time to let the pain heal. The duration of this period depends on the severity of the incident. So depends on what you have faced or lost, determine your own duration.

During the mourning period. We can watch a sad show, listen to a sad song, flip through the memory box. During this period, we are allowed to let ourselves go.

Second Phase – Recovery 

At certain point of time, we must allow ourselves to move on. Here, we build ourselves up again. Learning to let go. The key is to be willing to try. Memories will come back to put us through those emotional state again and again. Even for months and years. But we should not give up. Fill our lives with positiveness. Songs, content, movies, people, activities, hobbies. Block out any negative things that try to affect our road to recovery.

Third Phase – Moved On

At the third phase, we should already have gotten over (or mostly) the lost or the pain. We should be willing to accept new opportunities. Try new experiences.

There are many people who do not know how to recover. From a heartbreak. From losing a important person. From failing an exam. From not living up to expectations of others. I’ve been through all of them. And many times, I felt like I was at the brink of depression. When I was down, I was like “don’t tell me what is recovery because you don’t know how much that person means to me.” or “how broke I am”. or “how I am going to let my mum down because I scored a C, just a C.”

I ask myself questions. If I never learn to accept failures or manage loss, for the rest of my life, I will be living in fear. Fear of failing and losing. Fear of going through those depressive states. And people who have been through them will know that they will do anything to get out of that state.

I am not a psychiatrist. But I just hope that if my little sharing can touch someone, I have succeeded. Even if I don’t, I will not give up.

No matter how down you are, don’t give up. Just hold on to this tiny, but powerful, belief. That everything will be fine. One day, you will look back, and smile, and think to yourself how small that failure was.

=)

Feedback

When I started this blog, I have a few objectives.

One of them is to share my experiences and stories, hoping to bring a little more smiles, to people who happen to chance upon my blog.

The things that I have shared brought me a lot of clarity in my life which led me to happiness.

I used to be bogged down with so much desires, responsibilities and stress that got me really depressed. And I hope nobody needs to go through that.

I see the need to address this as I never expected to have people talking to me over what I write. Sharing with me their stories and the opinion. In the beginning, it is just me writing and thinking that if anyone sees it, then let’s see what’s next.

I am humbled.

Please continue to share with me your views. Your stories. Suggestions. Comments. Your interests. Your success. Your happiness. Everything.

Why is It So Difficult to Wake Up 5 Minutes Earlier?

Have you ever wondered why it is such an impossible task to wake up, or sleep, just five minutes earlier?

Or why is it so difficult to save an additional $20 every month?

Or why do we keep finding ourselves slightly over-spending every month?

That’s because it is never about that 5 minutes or that $20.

It is all about habits. And breaking habits don’t have to be a chore. Neither is it difficult. It is all about taking the right measures, which can be simple and fun.

Why Minimalism

Why minimalism?

Two things. More happiness, less worries. That’s the two ultimate reasons to choose minimalism.

It will be an enjoyable journey, abeit a long one. Possibly even an endless one.

If you are looking for solutions to resolve your short-term cravings, I’d suggest you try something else because minimalism will unlikely brings you that.

Even if you are indeed looking for more happiness and less worries, always remember that it is just one of many ways to achieve them.

Also, always remember that there’s no one size fits all remedy for everybody. There will be people who loves minimalism and some who hates it. Although in my 2 years of being a minimalist, I have yet to meet a depressed one.